How Motherhood Changed My Body—and What I’m Learning to Love Anyway
Let’s talk about body image. Something we all struggle with but don’t always say out loud.
If you’re a mom, you know how wild the body transformation journey is. Pregnancy, childbirth, postpartum—each phase leaves its mark, both physically and emotionally. One day, you’re in awe of what your body has done. The next, you’re staring at yourself in the mirror, picking apart things that never even crossed your mind before having kids.
The Pressure to Love Your Body vs. The Pressure to “Bounce Back”
But here’s the complicated part—these days, the pressure to love your body feels just as intense as the pressure to “bounce back.” If you open up about struggling, there’s this fear that people will jump down your throat, reminding you that body standards are ridiculous, that you should love yourself exactly as you are. And while that’s a beautiful sentiment, it doesn’t always leave space for the reality that some days, you just don’t feel great. It’s possible to want to love your body while also knowing you don’t want to feel this way forever.
You’re Not Alone in This
Last year, I opened up about some body image struggles I was having on my personal Instagram. I had an overwhelming response of people who had reached out with their own stories— highs, lows, and “I’m just trying to make peace with this new version of me” moments. And it reminded me: we are not alone in this. Not even close.
What We’re Teaching Our Kids
Here’s the thing: we’re raising little humans who are watching us—how we talk about ourselves, how we treat our bodies, how we respond to the changes that come with time and motherhood. No pressure, right? I want my kids to grow up knowing their worth isn’t tied to their appearance, that strength isn’t measured by a number on the scale, and that bodies are meant to be lived in, not criticized. But how do I teach that when I’m still working on believing it myself?
Holding Space for Both Gratitude and Growth
What I’ve learned over the past few years is that it’s okay to hold space for both things at once: gratitude for your body and the desire to feel good in it again. You can appreciate all the incredible things your body has done while still wanting to feel strong, confident, and at home in your own skin. The journey to self-acceptance isn’t black and white—it’s layered, nuanced, and deeply personal. And that’s okay. Growth doesn’t come from pretending, it comes from honesty. The more we allow ourselves to acknowledge both realities, the more we can move forward in a way that feels genuine and empowering.
How I Take Care of Myself Without Punishment
When I’m feeling down about my body, I don’t punish myself with grueling workouts or restrictive diets. Instead, I focus on what makes me feel good—things that actually nourish my body and mind. I aim for daily movement, not as a way to “fix” anything, but because I know I feel better when I do. Some days, that looks like a strength workout or a walk outside. Other days, it’s stretching or chasing my kids around the yard.
I also honor my body by fueling it with whole foods that make me feel energized and strong. But that doesn’t mean I deny myself the foods I love. I eat the ice cream when I want it. I enjoy the pizza on family movie nights. There’s no guilt attached to food anymore—just balance. I’ve learned that the best thing I can do for my body is to treat it with kindness, whether that means a plate full of veggies or a second peanut butter cup.
5 Things I Remind Myself When Body Image Struggles Hit
1. Self-compassion is key. We are so good at hyping up our friends, telling them they’re beautiful, strong, and worthy. But when it comes to ourselves? Oof. It’s time to extend that same kindness inward. Imperfections? They’re just proof of a life well-lived.
2. Focus on what your body can do, not just how it looks. This body? Your body? It’s done incredible things. It’s grown life. It’s endured sleepless nights, carried babies on tired hips, chased toddlers, and kept going even when running on fumes. Sometimes I look back and wonder how my body survived the things it did. Instead of picking it apart, let’s celebrate what it’s capable of.
3. Gratitude changes the narrative. Some days, it’s hard to love what we see in the mirror. But even on those days, we can choose gratitude. For strong legs that carry us. For hands that hold our babies. For a body that, despite everything, keeps showing up for us. I try to remind myself daily of the things I GET to do. I GET to wake up and choose movement. I GET to chase after my kids, to stretch, to take deep breaths, to experience the world in this body. Reframing my mindset to see these as privileges rather than obligations shifts the way I feel about myself.
4. Curate what you consume. Your social media feed? It should be a safe space, not a comparison trap. Follow people who make you feel good, who celebrate real bodies, who remind you that beauty is so much more than a filtered highlight reel. And beyond that, be mindful of how you contribute to the space. I don’t post stories with filters—ever. I haven’t for years. If there’s one thing I want, it’s to be on the right side of this fight—avoiding filters that alter my face, that make me look different than who I am. This choice has played a huge role in my confidence, both in my body and my mind. The way we present ourselves online should reflect the way we want to feel in real life—authentic, unfiltered, and real. Also, consider following creators who promote intuitive eating over restrictive dieting. Engaging with content that encourages a healthy, balanced approach to food and self-care can be a game-changer in shifting how we think about our bodies and overall well-being. I know it has for me.
5. Our kids are watching—let’s lead with love. The way we talk about our bodies? That’s how they’ll learn to talk about theirs. The way we value ourselves? That’s the example they’ll carry with them. The way we promote food and label it as “good” or “bad” is how they’ll learn to see food, too. Instead of moralizing food choices, let’s teach them balance, enjoyment, and nourishment. Let’s show them what self-acceptance looks like. Even if it’s a work in progress.
Final Thoughts
So here’s to embracing where we are, finding joy in what our bodies can do, and rewriting the narrative—not just for ourselves, but for the next generation. Because at the end of the day, our worth isn’t defined by stretch marks, scars, or a number on the scale. It’s in the way we love, the way we show up, and the way we choose to be kind to ourselves, even on the hard days.
You’re doing better than you think. And you are never, ever alone in this.
Sending you love, from one work-in-progress to another.
xoxo Amber
